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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29197731">Not Lost but Found</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leydhawk/pseuds/Leydhawk'>Leydhawk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What Freedom Looks Like [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Withdrawal, Angelic commentary, Asexual Character, Canon Typical Misogyny, D/s overtones, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, F/M, Frottage, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), New Magic, Oral Sex, dominant!cas, double orgasm, everyone else is bisexual, face fucking, gratuitous use of Romanian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:33:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,942</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29197731</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leydhawk/pseuds/Leydhawk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas continue to explore their physical relationship, and the crew investigates Cas’ waning grace along with how to power up the bunker with the god and darkness power Jack released.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What Freedom Looks Like [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29237343">Queerness &amp; Homophobia in Eric Kripke's Straightwashed On The Road Fanfic</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujubiest/pseuds/jujubiest">jujubiest</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Tags to be added with each chapter.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was completely unfair how good Cas was at Mario Kart once he understood what he was supposed to do.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Gah! Son of a bitch!” Dean yelled. “That’s <em>it</em> you frickin’ sniper!” He jumped out of his arm chair and stood in front of Cas’ chair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dean, you need to move. I can’t keep winning at this game if I can’t see the—oh!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean climbed onto the chair with Cas, kneeling over his legs, astride, and Cas dropped the controller like he’d forgotten it completely. Instead, Cas stared up at Dean’s face and put his hands on Dean’s hips.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The music continued to play from the tv but Dean ignored it. Cas’ eyes were growing darker and Dean grinned. </span>
</p><p class="p2">“I win.”</p><p class="p2">Cas frowned but Dean leaned down to kiss him and Cas relented and kissed back.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean could kiss Castiel forever.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Or until a better offer arrived in the form of Cas grabbing Dean’s ass and pulling him close enough Dean had to rise up and let Cas rub himself against the front of Dean’s jeans.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jeans that grew tighter with each touch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck <em>me</em>, Cas,” Dean groaned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You are not ready for that,” Cas replied calmly. </span>
</p><p class="p2">Dean laughed and sat back on Cas’ knees. “Nah, you’re right I just... Dude, every time you touch me it feels so <em>good</em>.”</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas looked divinely pleased at that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can make you feel even better, Dean. Do you want to ejaculate in my mouth?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean cracked up laughing. Only Cas could make him laugh and nearly bust a nut at the same time.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Cas knew it. He was smirking at Dean’s reaction and running his hands up and down Dean’s back. Dean’s laughter slowed and settled into a tight feeling in his chest that felt so poignant he thought he might pass out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re...you’re amazing,” Dean said, cupping Cas’ face and kissing him soundly. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas pulled Dean forward and buried his face against Dean’s stomach. Dean felt him take a deep breath then Cas’ hands slid down from Dean’s back to his ass and he again levered Dean more upright, nosing Dean’s t-shirt up and ducking his head a little, biting at the top button on Dean’s fly. With a deft twist of his jaw, the button came undone. Dean grinned. He wasn’t sure if his jeans getting tighter would make it easier or more difficult for Cas to unfasten the rest of the buttons but they were definitely gonna get tighter if he kept his face there.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next button went as easily for Cas as the first, but the loosening of the containment of Dean’s dick, as well as its proximity to Cas’ lips, had it filling out more quickly. The third button required more pressure and wiggling and by the time that one was undone, Dean was twisting uncomfortably.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dude, enough, my junk’s getting pinched,” Dean grumbled. The heat of Cas’ breath as he laughed in that lower register of his made things worse. “I’m serious!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas took pity on him and sat back and let Dean sort himself out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You could wear underwear,” Cas suggested, grinning.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nah, then I’d have to pull them down. This is easy access.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas’ smile disappeared. His eyes narrowed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Take your pants off, Dean,” Cas said. His voice held command that made Dean doubt he’d be able to stand if he moved to obey, so he turned sideways and sat across Cas’ lap with his legs over the arm of the chair and wriggled out of his jeans. Then he gave Castiel his best shit-eating grin as he laid there, his back knocking against the beer bottles on the side table between the recliners.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas sighed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you going to get back up here and fuck my mouth with your cock?” Cas asked, and Dean felt his dick jump like a puppy. </span>
</p><p class="p2">“Seriously, Cas? You just...<em>say</em> that shit and—“</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes or no? We could go back to the ga—“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean scrambled to turn over and get back to straddling Cas’ thighs. He knelt up tall, his dick nearly smacking Cas in the chin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There you go,” Cas purred, voice like smooth, expensive whisky. “I’m ready, Dean. I want you to put this in my mouth and down my throat and let me lick and suck you and I want your come—“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes-fuck-<em>yes</em>, Cas—“ Dean groaned, grabbing himself and pushing forward, cutting off Cas’ litany of filth.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then Dean really groaned, feeling Cas’ lips, those perfect dick sucking lips that Dean had thought about more than he would ever want to admit, finally pressing warm around the head of his cock, and then tongue, and wet, and suction and Dean fell forward, nearly smashing his nose against the top of Castiel’s head, his face buried in Cas’ dark hair. </span>
</p><p class="p2">He hung there, panting, unable to move until Cas grabbed his hip with one hand and his ass with the other and started forcing Dean back, then forward, back (swirling his tongue right on <em>that</em> spot, oh god) then forward until Dean’s body caught up even as his mind was awash in too many sensations to register them all.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean’s hips thrust, guided by Cas’ hands until he finally caught up and raised his head, gripping Cas’ shoulders and slowing the rhythm so this could last.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Looking down between them he watched his dick, slick with Cas’ spit, slip in deep, then withdraw, then in again. His gaze moved up and caught Cas’ eyes boring into him, practically alight with passion and need. Dean moaned and ran a clumsy hand up from Cas’ shoulder to his jaw, thumb tracing the stretched lips, feeling the tension as Cas sucked.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cas...Cas...” Dean huffed and gasped. </span>
</p><p class="p2">Then Cas growled, or hummed,  or whatever, and the vibration sent Dean skyrocketing past the point of no return. He pressed deep into Cas and cried out in a low groan as his dick pulsed and he spilled and Cas swallowed and kept growling at Dean as he came and came until he shuddered to a conclusion and withdrew carefully before he collapsed back down, sprawled across Cas.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas’ hand cradled Dean’s head, keeping him from knocking the bottles all over, and with his other arm he somehow swept beneath Dean’s thighs and pulled him sideways so Dean was cradled in Cas’ arms on his lap. Dean wiggled around until his ass dropped between Cas’ spread legs and Dean could lower his head to Cas’ shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stayed that way for a long time. Dean could feel his t-shirt sticking to him with sweat and he kinda wanted another shower. But he felt so comfortable and content and safe, he also wanted to stay there and fall asleep.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The endless Mario Kart music sorta ruined the mood, though, and Dean finally moved around and slid down until he was sitting on Cas’ feet, head rested on Cas’ knee. Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s hair, and Dean sighed, knowing it was time to get up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean had to smile when he looked up at Cas because the light from one of the hanging keg lamps gave the angel an actual halo.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas, oblivious to the spectacle, moved his hand from Dean’s hair to his cheek.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I enjoyed that, Dean. Thank you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean barked out a laugh, and Cas tilted his head, frowning in confusion.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I fuck your face and you thank me. Dude, that’s not how it normally goes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas’ frown deepened.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I should be thanking you, man,” Dean clarified. He moved Cas’ feet apart and knelt up for a kiss. He could taste his own spunk on Cas’ tongue and if that wasn’t so twisted fucking hot...He finally broke the kiss and looked straight into Cas’ gorgeous eyes. “<em>Thank you</em>. That was incredible.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas smiled, almost looking shy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am very glad you enjoyed it as much as I did,” Cas said, and kissed Dean again, this time soft and sweet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean groaned a little as he pushed himself to his feet and got his jeans back on.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am never going to be able to play Mario Kart with Sam again without getting an inappropriate boner, though,” Dean said, shaking his head as he grabbed the remote and turned off the tv.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas looked up at him with a smug smile and Dean laughed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You ready for bed?” Dean asked, holding out a hand to help Cas up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">Cas took the offered hand but of course easily stood without using the assistance.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, so why are you sleeping now? You didn’t used to need to.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">Cas kept ahold of Dean’s hand as they made their way to Dean’s room.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I... I have been slowly losing my power for months. Now that we have time, I would like to look into it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Dean turned on him. “</span> <span class="s2"><em>What</em></span> <span class="s1">?!”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas shrugged. “We have had bigger problems to deal with than that. I had assumed that it was due to heaven’s waning power but since Jack made several new angels while he was being used by Dumah, I would have felt a change had that been the case, so I need to investigate at this point.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean felt cold all over. He’d just gotten Cas back. He’d just gotten Cas as a lover, as a partner, as everything he’d ever dreamed of. He couldn’t be losing him again, could he?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You coulda told me! <em>Damnit</em>, Cas!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dean, I still have some power, some grace. You’re safe. I can still heal you—“</span>
</p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">“That is </span> <span class="s2"><em>not</em></span> <span class="s1"> what this is about! You think I only keep you around for healing? Screw you, Cas!”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Castiel frowned. “Maybe I should go. You’re angry and upset. I will research this and—“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>You</em>...” Dean was spitting mad, but he remembered Cas throwing the fact that he never asked Cas to stay in his face and it was like an icicle down his spine. He pressed his lips together and ground his teeth and stalked over. Stood there, breathing hard, heart racing. </span>
</p><p class="p2">Cas’ microexpression changed from the familiar ’fed up with Dean’s shit’ to confusion with maybe a little hope and hurt tucked in around the eyes and the set of his jaw.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Stay</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shit. It sounded like he was talking to a dog.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Please,” Dean growled.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tension around Cas’ eyes lessened and his lips parted.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean slowly relaxed, he finally broke their staring match by grabbing the back of Cas’ neck and pulling him into a hard hug.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Dean</em>...”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean held on. “Yeah.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am sorry that I frightened you.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean bit back the immediate reaction to deny.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stay?” He asked instead.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Knees turning to jello, Dean held onto Cas until he got his cool back, then stepped away. Cas stared at him some more, and Dean finally huffed a low laugh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sam’s right.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas’ head tilted but he kept staring.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You do eye-fuck me. He’s been saying it for years...” Dean stopped at the implication, looking away, wondering how much time he’d wasted refusing to see.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He grabbed Cas’ face with one hand and kissed him firmly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean wasn’t going to waste anymore time now that they were free. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The team tackles the hurdles they’re facing, with varying degrees of success.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam and Eileen often kissed each other or held hands or leaned against one another, but it was strange and wonderful to see Castiel and Dean being even more physically affectionate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack came to the kitchen and it made him smile to see both couples sitting close to their partners as they all drank coffee. Cas had an arm around Dean’s waist and while Jack watched, Dean kissed Cas on the temple.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good morning!” Jack said. He repeated himself in sign when his drawing everyone’s attention made Eileen look up as well. She smiled at him and returned the greeting before yawning and resting her head against Sam’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I learned how to make French toast watching videos last night. Can I make French toast for everyone for breakfast?” Jack looked at them all, stopping on Cas, who looked a bit perturbed. Jack wondered what he’d interrupted.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam signed to Eileen, spelling out French toast, and she nodded.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure, Jack, I’ll help,” Sam said, starting to rise. But Jack wanted to make breakfast by himself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I want to make breakfast by myself. Is that okay?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Go get ‘em tiger,” Dean said, and Sam lowered himself back down. Eileen resumed using his arm as a pillow.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thanks, Jack,” Sam said, signing and smiling at him. “Let me know if you need help.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I will,” Jack promised.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He set to work, only interrupted when someone made pilgrimage to the coffee pot. When they did, he always paused and smiled at them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first batch was on the griddle when the quiet was broken by Cas’ voice, sounding strange.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I am hungry.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But you don’t eat,” Sam said in response. “Are you feeling okay?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was silence from the table and Jack was torn between going out there and turning the food. Another moment passed and he quickly turned the slices of bread over, pleased at the golden brown color of the cooked sides.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can we talk about this over food please?” Dean grumbled. “And out loud for those who need <em>way</em> more time to learn sign language?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack risked a peek around the corner at the table and saw Cas and Eileen signing quickly at one another. Dean cleared his throat and nudged Cas and the two stopped their discussion. Jack caught a few words about not worrying Dean and research before he ducked back to the grill and slid the toast onto a platter. They looked and smelled delicious.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“First batch is done! Sam, you could set the table and get out the butter and syrup, and powdered sugar if we have it.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack was happy the large cooktop allowed him to finish the bread and batter with only a second batch. When those were done he added them to the platter and grabbed the fruit salad from the refrigerator and brought both to the table, putting the fruit near Sam and the platter in the center before seating himself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“</span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Looks amazing, Jack, thank you</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">,” Eileen signed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam and Dean made sounds of appreciation as well, but Cas was the first to take several slices and immediately start eating them. Dean saw and shoved the butter and syrup at him while everyone else served themselves. The condiments made the rounds after Cas added them to his plate, and everyone else began eating, heaping more praise on Jack. He felt good about having made a successful meal, but he was concerned about Castiel.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cas, what’s going on?” Jack asked after almost all the food had been consumed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My grace has been waning. I thought it had to do with the reduction in the number of angels but it doesn’t seem so. I need to figure out why it’s occurring,” Cas said. Jack nodded.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll have a research day! I’ll make snacks.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam’s smile at Jack was fond, and Cas and Eileen nodded approvingly, but Dean was scowling into his empty coffee cup.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How in hell are we supposed to find out more about angels? The angel tablet’s gone, and we’ve been through everything we found here in the bunker. We gonna pull information out of our asses?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dean, man, c’mon, you know context makes reading stuff different. How many times did we read Dad’s journal and still go back a year later and understand something differently? We’ve got a lot of—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing! We’ve got a lot of nothing. We need new sources or Cas—“ Dean’s voice cut off when he looked at Castiel, who was staring at him as he so often did.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Silence stretched tight like bubblegum before it broke apart and stuck to your fingers and shirt.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What if we come at it tangentially?” Eileen asked. “We see if we can get the power back up in the bunker and maybe that’ll open up new avenues of research?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why don’t we do both?” Jack asked. “Let me and Cas do research on angel lore and you three figure out channeling the new power into the dryad’s former systems?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean stared at Cas, who nodded, and Dean shoved himself back and stalked away, apparently angry.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Two and two and Dean will join whoever whenever,” Sam said, and clapped his hands together. He looked to Eileen and she frowned.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You guys get started,” she said, and got up and followed Dean.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack looked after her, wondering what she thought she could say to him that would get him to agree with their plan, but Cas caught his eye and nodded toward the library, and Jack shrugged and followed him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After an hour of gathering stacks of books and even a few scrolls, Jack and Cas went back to the research tables and found all three hunters there working. Jack was still curious how Eileen had talked Dean into joining in when he’d been so angry, but he decided it wasn’t worth it to ask while they were reading and taking notes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sometime later, Sam interrupted Jack to ask about the sense Jack had had about the two powers and if they’d seemed capable of working together or if they’d stayed totally separate. Jack had found his recollection of the time he’d held the entirety of those celestial energies growing less clear each day, but he did his best to explain to Sam what it had felt like to him. The powers had seemed to revolve together in a constant motion of destruction and creation, so while they worked together in a way, they also pulled at each other in a balance of some kind.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam nodded thoughtfully and returned to his work.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The piles of research materials both Jack and Cas had gathered slowly shifted from ’potentially useful’ to ’not helpful’ as the day wore on.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack cut up cheese and ham and vegetables and set them out with crackers and dip for everyone to snack on, grabbed a few himself, and returned to the Greek translation of a Babylonian text about winged assistants to gods.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam asked Jack several more questions about the powers as they worked, nodding silently after each answer Jack gave and returning to his notes and discussions with Dean and Eileen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The day passed in relative camaraderie and eventually, Sam declared he had a test spell he could run.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas and Jack looked at each other and an understanding passed between them that neither had found anything useful, and they closed their books in tandem.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you need?” Cas asked, and Sam listed items that had the rest scurrying to various places in the bunker where supplies were stored.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This bracelet will glow when there’s sound around. Through the visible light spectrum with volume,” Sam explained. “It’s going to charge from the ambient power during the initial ritual, and automatically renew itself as the energy is used. It’s a very small amount of power, but it’ll prove the theory if it works.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack smiled. It was a lovely and thoughtful thing that would be useful in a general way to Eileen. He nodded, approving.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure you don’t wanna make it a ring, Sammy?” Dean asked. Sam’s face turned very red and he shoved Dean a little and glared at him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eileen snickered. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">They all went with to watch Sam attempt the spell.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">On the table, Sam had stones and a flask, herbs and feathers and a few other things. Some had been shoved to one side and the space on the table had a cloth with sigils stitched to it beneath where he was working. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam took several deep breaths, then raised his left hand. A sigil or rune of some kind had been drawn on his palm.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Vino aici. Vino la mine,</em>” Sam said aloud. Come here. Come to me. In Romanian. Jack tilted his head. Interesting choice.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then Sam spelled out come in Romanian sign language, and held his hand, palm up, above the little piles of stuff and ran it in a circle then hovered above the bracelet.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The space above his palm looked different. Almost like a heat shimmer or light refracted through clear water. But the bookcase Jack could see on the far wall, when he looked through the air about six inches above Sam’s hand, looked clearer. The colors seemed brighter, and then light and dark rose in interference patterns through the sight.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam took another deep breath, then blew on the energy he’d gathered and pressed down onto it so the bracelet was enveloped.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Atașați Și Pripon</em>!” He declared, and closed his fist. Attach and tether, again in Romanian.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The air around the bracelet looked ordinary again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam glanced around at the rest of them, then spoke.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s it.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A red light pulsed low from the bracelet.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m gonna try louder,” Sam warned. The red light pulsed in time with his words.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stop!” Sam shouted. The bracelet’s light spiked to a yellow-green.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I learned to whistle loud,” Jack offered, fascinated that his voice made the bracelet red again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Go for it,” Dean said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack gave a piercing whistle. Blue!</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It works. That’s great, Sam.” Eileen said and came to hug him. He handed her the bracelet shyly and she grinned while adroitly putting it on.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Now we must test that it’s renewing itself,” Cas stated.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s a tiny trickle of power, so maybe tonight we’ll leave the bracelet next to a radio and if it’s still working in the morning I think it’ll be safe to say it’s renewing itself,” Sam said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why Romanian?” Jack asked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The hunter who raised me was Romanian. I speak it and RSL, but it’s unusual enough that it won’t be as recognizable, and it’s got more of an old Latin base so Sam will pick be able to it up easier too,” Eileen said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But it has a lot of slavic influence as well so even if someone thinks they understand because they study old Latin, they won’t get it right.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean looked at Sam. “Encrypting your new magic stuff. That’s clever—“ he exaggeratedly pivoted his attention to Eileen, “—Eileen.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam glared at Dean but hugged Eileen, looking both proud of her and annoyed at Dean.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack sighed and shook his head. Then he noticed Cas watching him and raised his eyebrows in question.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You looked like Sam in your frustration with Dean’s behavior.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That made Jack feel warm and pleased. “<em>My three Dads</em>,” he signed. Cas smiled, and they turned at a wave from Eileen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Any luck with the other research?” Eileen asked, aloud and in sign. The others quieted and looked to Jack and Cas.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We have found nothing new,” Castiel replied.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Catching sight of the widening of Dean’s eyes and the tension in his jaw, Jack’s light, happy feelings vanished.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re gonna have to hope Eileen is right and if we can get the bunker powered up we’ll find other resources,” Sam said, reaching out to hold Eileen’s hand.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean didn’t look hopeful as he gave a hard stare to Cas, then turned on his heel and left the room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas followed, and Jack waited a moment before he turned to Sam and Eileen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We need to find a way to save Cas’ grace. Dean’s really scared,” Jack told them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam’s forehead wrinkled and then smoothed, and he came over and hugged Jack, squeezing him so tight it became difficult to breathe before Sam released him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll find something. We always do,” Sam said, his voice rough. He cleared his throat. “You wanna help me make dinner?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack nodded and followed Sam toward the kitchen. Eileen caught his eye and nodded approvingly, and Jack smiled. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My first attempt at Jack’s point of view: I found it rather refreshing and I hope you liked it. </p>
<p>Comments? Predictions? Advice on the Romanian language bits?</p>
<p>Next chapter sees the return of a couple characters, but that’s the only hint I’m giving.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dean’s suffering and Cas can’t stand it. Cas gets contacted unexpectedly.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean paced his bedroom. Cas’ trench coat was on the back of his desk chair, and he either wanted to burn the damn thing or grab it and hold on. He was ready to punch something, so he was glad Cas had gone to his own room at a look from Dean.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Except that he wasn’t glad. He wanted Cas with him, all the time. He needed to see Cas and know he was alright. Because Cas wasn’t alright and they had no plans, no ideas even for how to help him. With how few angels were left there was no chance of him powering up his grace from someone else’s.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean choked when the image of Cas dying flashed through his mind, and he coughed hard then turned to the door. He wanted to see Cas. He needed it, like air or... His hand shook as he reached for the door and he made a fist.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What the hell was wrong with him? Trembling like a mouse because he was a room away from his new boyfriend?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sat down on his bed and dropped his face into his still-shaking hands. His stomach roiled like he’d had bad takeout. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">All he wanted was to go back to bed and have Cas hold him. He wanted to rest his head on Cas’ chest and get him to talk, about anything, just so he could feel the rumble of his voice. And Cas would run his hands over Dean’s back and the shakes would ease up... Cas...</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door opened without a knock and Dean’s head snapped up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The hell— Cas?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I heard you praying, Dean. You’re not well,” Cas said, frowning and approaching. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">“I didn’t pray... I’m just... I’m shaking and it’s so stupid and—“</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas touched Dean’s cheek and light flared.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t!” Dean tried to pull away before the healing could drain any grace from Castiel but he already felt fine again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas sat down heavily next to Dean and as much as Dean wanted to yell at him for wasting his grace, seeing Cas’ head hanging forward and his elbows rested on his knees, Dean just felt like the worst person in the world. He dropped to his knees in front of Cas and wrapped his arms around Cas’ head and shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cas, please, man, you gotta save your grace for yourself. Don’t throw it away on me just ’cause I got a headache. It’s not worth that. We need time to find a solution. I can’t—I can’t lose you...”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas’ arms came around Dean and his head nuzzled into Dean’s neck.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were having alcohol withdrawal. It would have continued for some time and I have no wish to see you suffer,” Cas said quietly into the space between their bodies.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean’s eyes burned and he blinked hard. He shook his head. “You self-sacrificing son of a bitch,” he muttered. He kissed Cas’ cheek, just turning his head and pressing his lips into whatever part of Cas he could right then.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Cas pulled away to look at him, and a small smile was curving his lips.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I would never call you a son of a bitch, but you calling me self-sacrificing is absurd, my love,” Cas said. “How many times do you think you’ve died for others?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wasn’t counting, Cas! Damnit, I—“ Dean shook his head and tried to find the humor Cas was expressing. “Cas, I can’t lose you again. We’ve only had a couple days <em>together</em>-together and...” Dean felt his face heat up but he knew he had to say what he was feeling. He had to get Cas to understand that Dean wanted nothing more than to be with him. “I... I want us to have the rest of my life together, and I want that to be growing old and loving and living and you cannot let your grace fail so you die on me before we get that, okay? Leave my headaches alone. Hell, if I break my legs, just leave ‘em, they’ll heal. You save your grace for you.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas stared into Dean’s eyes for a long time but eventually nodded.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I understand.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean sank back onto his heels, a deep sigh huffing out. “Good. Good.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas leaned forward and kissed him and Dean kissed back with all he could, pressing up and forward and pushing Cas back onto the bed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They shifted up the bed together and Dean settled mostly on top of Castiel.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you, Cas,” Dean said, his voice rough, and Cas smiled at him so brightly that Dean had to smile back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you as well. I’ll do everything in my power to stay with you for as long as you want me to.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll always want you, Cas. Always.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas nodded, and Dean shifted to lay down with his head on Cas’ chest, listening to his steady, slow heartbeat.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Castiel could sense Dean dropping off into sleep, and while he found himself slightly weaker than before he’d healed the alcohol withdrawal in his lover, he did not feel the desire to sleep himself.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instead, he breathed deeply and let his mind settle into a meditative state, attempting by old habit to open himself to revelation or the voices of his angelic brothers and sisters. When he recognized what he was doing, Castiel felt a pang of sadness, and the emotion made it all the more pointedly apparent that he was not what he had been.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean snuffled and sighed and a gentle glow of the purest love he’d ever experienced caught his attention. The celestial love he’d felt for his siblings and father had been a foundation, not an enveloping light. He let himself marvel once again at the difference of this tiny speck of time he’d lived and how full it felt versus the millennia upon millennia he’d existed before. He recalled his angelic existence with razor sharp clarity, up to the moment he perceived the human soul he’d battled through the throngs of hell to retrieve. He could recall what Dean’s soul looked like, felt like, with his precise recollection, but once he touched that glorious soul, his memories began to shimmer on the edges. Why? Why would his perfect recall have been altered in that touch? He let the question rest in his mind.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A recollection came to the surface, a voice: “From the moment he touched you, he was lost.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That was what the other angels thought of him. Lost.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Castiel opened his eyes and looked down at Dean’s head on his chest. He let the warmth of Dean’s skin and breath seep into his awareness, and he found himself smiling.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not lost.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Found</em>.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Castiel*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A Voice, a Presence came to Castiel’s awareness. Michael, speaking to him in Enochian.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Yes. You’re going to have to make a choice, brother, soon*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What choice?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*You will know it when it is upon you*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Was Castiel dying?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*All are dying who live*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Castiel smiled. Enochian lent itself so well as a language to flowery riddles, and it was so typical of higher angels to use that to the fullest.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*<em>The</em> Angel. I am The Highest Angel of all, now*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Castiel’s smile faded. He wondered if the influence of Dean’s human brother Adam would linger and temper the potentially righteous wrath Michael was known for.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Hi Cas. Jack brought me back, too*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It startled Castiel somewhat to hear the voice of a human speaking English through the conduit of angel speech. He was very glad that Adam was with Michael again. He’d sensed the hole his presence had left in Michael.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Thanks, Cas. Nice to know I was missed. There’s no place I’d rather be now than here, though. Michael says my soul might even be starting to become—*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*You know the power of heaven is barely adequate to maintain itself. With my grace and the angels the nephilim added, we are slightly better equipped to sustain everything. Another archangel would be of great benefit*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Michael cut Adam off from saying what he was becoming, but Castiel’s greater concern was what archangel Michael was considering resurrecting.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Not resurrecting. <em>Finding</em>. I have reason to believe Gabriel may not have perished but instead has gone into hiding again*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nodding, Castiel recalled his adventure with what he’d thought was the vision of their dead brother, Gabriel, created by Metatron, but now imagined the possibility that he had indeed been him. It would be a good day if Gabriel returned.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Yes*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Castiel’s thoughts turned to the new magic Sam had performed. Would that perhaps help in the search for Gabriel?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*As the first to harness it, Sam Winchester carries a heavy burden as he creates the way in which the newly freed power can be accessed. It will be his choice to use and teach*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nodding, Castiel understood the unease he’d felt witnessing Sam’s use of the power. But Sam had chosen a kind and helpful use for his first spell. Perhaps that boded well for the future.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Perhaps*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It occurred to Castiel that Michael likely knew what was happening to him and could choose to enlighten him. He breathed deeply, raising Dean’s weight up with his inhale, and opened himself in supplication.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*You will know soon enough*</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Michael’s Voice rang through Castiel with a pulse of grace which sent him spiraling down into sleep in an instant.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean woke to a sound like a buzzsaw and blinked. He looked around and realized it was Cas snoring. His eyebrows rose. Cas’ mouth hung open and on each inhale came the rough, loud sound. He snickered for a moment.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then it occurred to him that he’d never heard Cas snore before, even when Cas had slept when he needed to. Dread curled into Dean’s gut at this additional evidence that Cas was becoming more human. He felt cold, and realized that while they were both dressed still, they weren’t under any blankets, so he set about remedying both situations.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stripping them both down to t-shirts and underwear, Dean pushed and pulled and rolled Cas onto his side and back and eventually got the covers out from under him, Cas making his American Psycho sounds whenever he was on his back. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">Getting under the covers with Cas, Dean pushed him over on his side and moved behind him, pulling the now quietly breathing angel against his chest.  Burying his face in the back of Cas’ hair and neck, Dean enjoyed the familiar scent and tried not to worry about how deeply asleep Cas had to be to not wake during all of the shifting around. It felt amazing to hold him, so for now, that had to be enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Komment?? 😘😘😘</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Movie night! And awkward conversation with the three year old grown man as well as characters speaking my opinion on the bi-erasure in Bohemian Rhapsody.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next day, Dean talked to Jack while they made breakfast for everyone, attempting crepes together and laughing at the weird sort of scrambled egg-ish results when they failed their pan flips.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“From what you and Cas have researched, do you think we’ve got any information that’ll help with Cas’ grace?” Dean asked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack sighed and looked at Dean with a hangdog expression. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Dean. I don’t think the books and scrolls here have anything you guys haven’t read a dozen times.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean swallowed hard. “Yeah, I kinda thought that might be the case. So, ah, do you think you and Cas could help Sam with this new magic stuff? Maybe Eileen’s right and we’ll find new resources if the bunker’s at full power.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They cheered when Jack flipped their latest crepe and slid it successfully onto a plate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, I think for now that’s the best idea we’ve got,” Jack said quietly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright then.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam and Eileen ribbed them for the failure pile of cooked crepe batter, which Cas ate without complaint, but everyone agreed the successfully made crepes were delicious.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No one commented when Cas and Jack joined in learning about what Sam was working on with the new magic, but Dean clapped Jack on the back in gratitude.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By dinner time, they had another, more powerful spell ready to test, but decided to attempt it in the morning. They all needed to blow off some steam.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After dinner, they went through movies to watch, Dean arguing for more pop culture blockbusters and Sam for culturally significant films. They eventually all agreed that Bohemian Rhapsody was a good compromise and settled in to watch over popcorn Eileen made, passing the bowl around and fighting good-naturedly over it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean wrapped an arm around Cas’ shoulders, and Cas burrowed close while they watched.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean and Cas rose and stretched while watching the credits, Cas yawning.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam and Eileen looked at each other and started a conversation as soon as the last scene of concerts was through during the credits.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Entirely in sign language.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, you guys wanna share with the class?” Dean snapped, then frowned even more when the couple looked at each other again before Sam turned to him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Freddie Mercury was openly bisexual, Dean. We were commiserating because the movie wasn’t explicit in demonstrating that. It’s called bi-erasure and we feel strongly about it because...we’re both bisexual,” Sam said, and Dean felt his brother’s eyes scouring his expression for his reaction.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That sucks, man,” Dean said, keeping his face and voice neutral. But his heart rate started to pick up as reality hit him like a cartoon anvil.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean turned quickly to look at Cas, who already had reached out for him. As Cas’ hand touched Dean’s back, Dean leaned into him, feeling his eyes getting wider and his breath picking up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Like a train jumping the track, Dean’s mind shifted in an instant and his head whipped around to look at Sam.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re bi?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam shrugged. “Yeah? So? You are, too.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And like a boomerang, his mind was back to that. He was in love with Cas, and he had started having sex with him and wanted to continue to do so as well as explore all the additional ways they could fuck. Eventually. Plus...Lee. They’d made out before Lee had started blowing him. And there had been various flirtations over the years.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean planned to spend the rest of his life with Cas. He was never going to have sex with a woman again.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So...he was bisexual. He scoffed lightly to himself and his eyes refocused on Sam.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I guess so, huh?” Dean turned to Cas again and laid a big, sloppy kiss on him, tongue, smooshing close, feeling his dick twitch: the whole nine.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ew, dude, we don’t need to see that!” Sam exclaimed, laughing as he said it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bite me, Sammy. I’m in love and I’m bisexual and I’m not afraid to show it, bitch,” Dean said as soon as he broke away from Cas’ delicious lips. He tossed the words over his shoulder at Sam while he kept his eyes on Cas’ dazed expression.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fine, jerk. When are we gonna hit a queer bar?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean paused and Cas made his classic head tilt, which made Dean smile. He finally looked over his shoulder at Sam. “Anytime, man.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eileen caught Dean’s attention and he realized that by looking at Cas he’d excluded her from the conversation. He turned around, pressing back against Cas a bit, and apologized to her, using one of the few signs he’d learned.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll try to do better,” Dean said, remembering to enunciate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eileen’s smile included a sheen to her eyes before she carefully signed <em>OK</em> and winked at him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How do you say bisexual in sign?” Dean asked, and she laughed and they all spent a few minutes learning all the signs they could for various identities and orientations.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam and Eileen said their goodnights, but as Dean and Cas reached for each other’s hands, Jack stopped them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m trying to understand how people know what gender or genders they’re attracted to,” Jack said, and looked at them expectantly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I believe I would be classified as pansexual since gender has no bearing on my attraction to Dean, so I don’t really understand it, either,” Cas said. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean swallowed hard. “Well, uh, I always found women...attractive, but once I was out on my own more, I kinda started having some thoughts about a guy I knew, I think because he looked at me a certain way... It wasn’t really until,” Dean cleared his throat, “uh, until he put the moves on me, that I was sure, though. I liked how he touched me. I liked how he made me feel. And there were a few dudes I thought that way about, later. But Cas is my first, uh, boyfriend, I guess. First and last. He’s it for me.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas smiled that beautiful, wide, lips together smile and tear filled his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you, Dean.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean felt warm through and through. “I love you, too.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See, I know I feel love. I love my mother, and all three of you Dads of mine, but you say attraction, and I just don’t really understand what you mean,” Jack said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean’s mind flashed back to that terribly uncomfortable dinner with Jody and Alex and Claire, and with his newly discovered or admitted orientation, he wondered briefly how Jody had had that talk with Claire about Kaia.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas was squinting at Jack in that angel-confused-about-human-things way, and Dean rolled his eyes. He did not want to be the one to have to get into this.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look, Jack, you’ll know it when you feel it. You’re technically only three years old, dude, and that’s too young to be getting down and dirty with anyone, so—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas’ expression grew thunderous and he glared at Dean, apparently calling him out on his bullshit. Son of a bitch!</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean turned back to Jack.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tried to think of something more to say.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And the silence stretched out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And out.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas cleared his throat. “I felt love before I considered my physical need to be close with Dean, and—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean laughed, and Cas looked at him in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Man, you had personal space issues with me from the moment we met! You got up in my face in the barn, and when you had your wings, you’d, like, manifest two inches from me!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Castiel’s head tilted again and he nodded. “You’re right, Dean.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Attraction is a need to be close to someone?” Jack asked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Exactly!” Dean exclaimed, thrilled to have an answer handed to him and ready to drag Cas away to bed to get out of further discussion.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That is a component of it. It is also a reason for fornication,” Cas said, standing fast against Dean’s tug on his hand toward the bedrooms.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I heard Eileen while she and Sam were fornicating in the shower. It seemed either painful or extremely pleasant for her. Does it hurt?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not the way I do it,” Dean snickered. Cas sighed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jack, fornication is about sharing pleasure and for procreation,” Cas supplied.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack’s eyebrows rose. “So my mother fornicated with Lucifer?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When she thought he was the man she was in a relationship with, yes,” Cas said.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack nodded thoughtfully, and Dean held his breath, waiting for another awkward question.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you for explaining it. I think I’ll just wait like Dean said, until I feel it for myself,” Jack said, and Dean blew out a relieved sigh and pulled Cas toward the bedrooms again, this time successfully making it several steps before Jack stopped them again with another question. “But what if I never feel it?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas looked over his shoulder and then pulled his hand from Dean’s and went to hug Jack awkwardly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then you’re more like an angel in that regard. I’m glad you feel love. That is the most important, highest emotion any being can feel.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They parted, and Dean blinked rapidly to clear his eyes of mist. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goodnight,” Jack said, smiling at them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean smiled back as Cas returned to his side and put his arm around Dean’s waist.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goodnight.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m firmly on the side of using queer as an umbrella term for anyone not cishet. That won’t change in my writing, so if that’s an issue for you, learn your queer history and click back. I’m not looking to discuss or defend my usage.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Interlude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An interlude from a higher perspective.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Why do you watch them?*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Aren’t you at all curious over what they’re gonna do with that power?*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Unless that power can find my absurdly difficult to locate brother, I don’t care what they do with it*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Hmm*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The second spell went off without a hitch the following morning after another family breakfast, and now each car in the bunker’s garage, including the Impala and the Valiant, had a protective shell on it. The paint and tires wouldn’t degrade, the bodies were resistant to damage, and the interiors had the capacity to act like magical all-body airbags, without the explosive deployment. The air inside the cars thickened whenever the human bodies within were endangered by changes in force applied to the car. So it worked when brakes were slammed on, or the car impacted something, cushioning the momentum but somehow still allowing free deliberate movement such as turning the wheel, using the foot pedals, and even opening the door to dive from the moving vehicle. The protection reacted to the intent of those inside the vehicle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean was thrilled, feeling like Baby was almost alive and protecting him, and he praised Sam after they had tested the spell on other vehicles and Dean finally tried it on the Impala.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Of course*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The spell seemed to be self-sustaining as well, with no drop in effectiveness after repeated use, so all aspects of it appeared to be working.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After the successes of his experiments, Sam decided to begin investigating the wood nymph’s systems.Sam spent a good portion of the day with sitting in the control room, sending tendrils of magic through conduits that were apparently organic, maybe even arborial in nature, which made sense from their origin. The other humans went to various parts of the bunker to let Sam know what effect powering up each branching pathway appeared to have.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One that threaded through to the kitchen rejuvenated the wilting greens in the crisper, likely keeping food from spoiling. It also reduced temperature on the stove when Jack nearly burned the bacon he was cooking for BLTs for lunch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*That’s cool*</span>
</p><p class="p2">Shadowed cabinets and corners gained soft illumination whenever someone peered at them, and the cool mustiness  various rooms and hallways had always been prone to maintained a more comfortable sensation.</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Countless small inconveniences from living underground were addressed and solved by the magic.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They discovered that many ingredients Sam was utilizing for his spellwork weren’t depleting as long as he left some in the jar or bag or box. When he needed more, there was plenty again, even if he’d removed a substantial amount previously.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Convenient*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By evening, Sam had pages of notes and was fully engrossed in discussing details of the system with anyone who stood still for 3 seconds.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So get this—“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, check this out—“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look!”</span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“I never imagined it would do </span> <span class="s2">that</span> <span class="s1">.”</span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whoa, that’s awesome!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam was extremely excited with every new discovery.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*It’s actually kinda nice to see my brothers happy*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eileen suggested that he start powering each of the ’branches’ individually, so there wouldn’t be one large draw but instead many smaller ‘roots’. So Sam performed small spell after small spell, linking each to their regenerative source. It saved him from having to work with larger amounts of power, which Castiel silently approved of. Each additional spell Sam cast continued to encourage the god and darkness powers to be accessible in those minimal ways. It would be best if the vast, incomprehensible-to-humans energy could be constrained to trickles of power, considering that a flood of it could easily destroy a normal human as well as the entire reality where the human lived. Jack was a nephilim, and even he had had to magically strengthen his body to contain the power.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*It is good*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*You think so?*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Humans should not have too much power at hand. Their emotions make them too volatile*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*I’m starting to understand what you mean when you say things like that*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The system hummed along with Sam’s spells mimicking a tree’s roots and smaller branches with leaf-like resulting effects, which seemed likely to have been the original design.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*I think they’re doing fine*</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*Hmm*</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was kind of an experiment so I’d love to know if you liked it. I’m Gishing this weekend and I try to keep myself two chapters ahead of where I’m posting so I’m continuing to not have a posting schedule. I appreciate everyone reading this series! Love you all!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Various power dynamics in the family are shifting and some cope with it better than others.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sam! You need to go to bed,” Dean said as he and Cas came up from the Dean cave after watching movies until two in the morning. And making out. And napping. But ostensibly watching movies.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam was still in the control room making notes and doing magic.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, uh, just one more—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh-huh. Look, you’re not fourteen, Sam. Get your ass to bed. Don’t make me mother-hen you for fuck’s sake.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes, but those eyes looked red and irritated from the smoke of burning ingredients, and Dean knew the slump of his shoulders when his little brother was running on fumes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean turned to Cas. “I’ll see you in my room?” He asked quietly. Cas nodded solemnly and Dean smiled at him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then Dean turned to go get Sam and drag him to bed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dean, I just found a part of the system that—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tomorrow, Sammy. You can do it tomorrow.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">“But—“</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sam, you’ve got a beautiful woman upstairs waiting for you and you’re gonna sit here and mumble in Romanian? C’mon man, I taught you to treat women better than that.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam’s head whipped around. “</span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>You</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1"> taught—“ Sam’s lips compressed and his jaw stuck out stubbornly. “You never taught me anything good about how to treat women, Dean.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean grinned. “Maybe not, but it got your attention and now you’re going up to bed.” Dean took Sam by the arm and hauled him to his feet, shoving him toward the stairs. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">Dean followed and then stopped at his own door and watched until Sam disappeared down the curving hallway to his own room before grabbing the knob and pushing inside.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey there,” Dean said, smiling at Castiel sitting on the side of the bed. </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>His</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1"> side of the bed. Cas had a side of the bed, and Dean felt his chest expanding like a balloon.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hello Dean,” Cas said, and his mouth twisted in amusement. Dean chuckled.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pausing after closing the door, Dean noticed that Cas hadn’t made any moves to undress or change for bed. Dean cocked an eyebrow at him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You don’t look sleepy,” Dean noted.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I feel quite refreshed after our nap, even sharing one armchair for it.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s ’cause you were on top. I’m the one who got squished, man,” Dean said, ignoring the fact the he’d loved every second of feeling Cas’ weight and his breath and his everything.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas stood up and took a step toward Dean, the stride smooth and precise, making the hair stand up on Dean’s neck with how predatory it looked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think you might enjoy it if I topped, Dean,” Cas said, his voice dropping into Barry White land. Dean couldn’t breathe as Cas stalked closer.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Cas was right in front of him, so close Dean could feel the heat of him through their shirts, Dean finally gasped a quick breath.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wha—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas cut him off with a kiss. The dude somehow absolutely knew how to kiss him until his legs turned to jelly and he was shaking like an out of balance wheel.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cas,” Dean murmured against Cas’ lips.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mm,” Cas hummed, continuing to kiss him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you,” Dean said, speaking into Cas’ mouth.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas broke away, grinning. “I love you, too.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then he leaned back in. Dean slid sideways out from between Cas and the door.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bed, dude. It’s right here,” Dean said. He stood on his side and pulled both his shirts off over his head, not bothering with buttons. He enjoyed the way Cas’ eyes hungrily roved over the revealed skin and dropped his hands to his belt buckle and started to unfasten it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas whipped his own shirt off and shoved his pants and underwear down, stepping out of them and straight into Dean’s personal space. Dean snickered that Cas left his socks on as usual, then gasped as Cas slapped his hands away from where Dean had been unbuttoning his jeans. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">Cas stared into Dean’s eyes as he got the rest of the buttons of Dean’s fly unfastened and kept that intense eye contact as he hooked his thumbs in Dean’s waistband and dropped to his knees, dragging Dean’s clothes down as he went.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean stepped out of one leg of his jeans when Cas tugged, and moaned when Cas buried his face in the crook of Dean’s thigh and groin and breathed deeply.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was so fucking hot to have Cas obviously getting off on the very smell of Dean’s crotch.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas started mouthing at Dean’s balls and Dean grit his teeth to try to stay quiet.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cas, fuck...” Dean gasped through clenched teeth. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">Cas drew back, grabbed Dean’s wrist and pulled just as he swept Dean’s legs out from under him, knocking Dean flat across the bed. Cas was on top of him before the bed stopped bouncing, kissing Dean deep and aggressive.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dean...mmm...I never imagined I’d get the chance to do this...” Cas growled, running his lips along Dean’s jaw and sucking at his earlobe. “Touch you and taste you—“ Cas licked a wide swipe up Dean’s neck and bit his jaw. “—and have you as mine.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas pulled away and stared with fervor into Dean’s eyes. “You are mine, Dean, aren’t you? No one else’s?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean’s head was spinning from Cas taking whatever he wanted from Dean. Dean just wanted Cas to take and take and take from him until there was nothing left of him, nothing alone and hollow and broken. There would just be the two of them made one.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yours, Castiel. I’m yours, always. Take me, be my everything. It’s all I want. It’s all I need, Cas, just you. Just you,” Dean babbled, and saw a softening of Cas’ possessive aggression. “Please, Cas...don’t stop. Don’t give up on me.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas put his hand on Dean’s cheek and looked straight into him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never. You’re mine now Dean. You’re mine and I’ll be whatever you need. I’ll never give up on you.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">Dean swallowed hard and lunged up to kiss Cas. It was that or start blubbering and that was not gonna happen.</p>
<p class="p2">Rolling them so they were on their sides, arms wrapped around each other, Cas pulled Dean’s leg up around his hip and started grinding.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh fuck,” Dean moaned, feeling Cas’ hard cock against his, both trapped between them. They thrust against each other, heat and friction just a little too intense with no slick but the precome blurting from each as they grew more eager.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then Cas’ hand slid up Dean’s thigh to his ass and squeezed, pulling Dean into a rhythm of Cas’ choosing, a little slower than Dean wanted, but having the control taken from him made Dean shudder all the more.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their kisses grew sloppy as they panted into each other’s mouths. Dean was getting close, feeling the tension coil. He didn’t want it to be over so quickly but he didn’t have any say in it anymore.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas’ fingers slid into Dean’s ass crack and started rubbing on his asshole and somehow that was the hottest fucking thing and Dean’s hips were stuttering and Cas pressed his whole mouth over Dean’s to muffle him as he cried out and came. He was just starting to come down from it when Cas started humping in double time and his fingers slid further and pressed behind Dean’s balls where he’d massaged before and made Dean come and </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>yes</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1"><em>!</em> Dean was coming again, the pressure forcing it out of him and he felt tears leaking out of his closed eyes. It was so much, his cock was so sensitive it was too much but he was coming and he felt a rush of breath into his lungs and Cas’s hips froze, tight against Dean’s, and Dean felt even more wetness between them as Cas came too, with a groan so low and deep it was like far off thunder.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They laid there gasping and panting into each other’s faces, catching their breath. Dean continued to feel tingling aftermath through his body, and it made him shiver.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas immediately reached for the extra blanket at the foot of the bed and wiped them off and threw it to the floor, then manhandled Dean up so he could pull the rest of the bedding back and settle them both lengthwise on the bed, heads on the same pillow, and wrap his arms around Dean.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It happened so fast Dean muttered a brief “The hell—“ and then he was snug against Cas.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I wasn’t really cold, man. I was... Dude, I didn’t know I could do that!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas smiled. He looked extremely self satisfied. “I figured you might be able to with the way you responded to the external prostate massage before.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean shuddered again and Cas pulled him in tight, compressing Dean’s ribs and chafing his hands on Dean’s back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Easy, babe. You gotta learn the difference between cold and...”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And what, Dean? Are you afraid? Are you...suffering from some malady?” Cas was frowning when he drew back and looked hard at Dean’s face. Dean huffed and rolled his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“C’mon, man, you just made me come twice like a </span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>chick</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">. It’s weird, okay? And you’re all into taking care of me and I. I dunno, it’s...</span>
  <span class="s2">weird</span>
  <span class="s1">.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Cas misunderstood because he pulled away and sat up, starting to retuck the covers around Dean but catching himself and raising his hands like he was apologizing or something. And then he got up as if to leave.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Where...where are you going?” Dean asked, swallowing hard and sitting up to watch as Cas gathered his clothes, Dean’s clothes that he’d been wearing since he came back, and Dean was shaking again, this time with a twisting, sick feeling.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas paused, underwear in one hand, standing there in socks and nothing else.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Dean, all I want is to take care of you. But if you find that emasculating, I’ll try not to do the things you find abhorrent. I’m going to sleep in my room and—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Damnit, Cas!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean flung the covers off and stomped up to Cas and almost reached out and put his arms around him but stopped at the last second and just stood there, close enough to feel the heat from Cas’ chest against his own. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">“I—I—I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay. I want... I want...” Dean looked hard into Cas’ eyes, willing him to just get it, to understand, read his mind or whatever and just know what to do.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What, Dean? What do you want? I’ll give you anything.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean huffed and spun on his heel, putting his hands on his hips.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">God, he didn’t know what to say. He tried to form something coherent out of the well of feelings that cracked him open and rushed out when Cas did things to him, when the unexpected was more than Dean had ever been able to imagine in his most ardent desires. He stared up at the dark ceiling, shaking his head. There was no way. He couldn’t explain it. All he could do was...</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">‘Please. Please, Cas. Please tell me you can hear me like this. I can’t find the words. I just need you to get it, to just be with me even when I’m being a dick. I need you to love me no matter what. Please,’ he prayed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cas moved around so he was standing in front of Dean, and he put his arms around him and pulled him close, drawing Dean’s head to his shoulder and pressing against Dean all along their bodies.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My love,” Cas murmured, a low, gravelly sound that made Dean shudder as much from the words, the connotation, as the vibrations of sound that penetrated him to the core. “I’m yours. I’m yours in any and every way you’ll have me.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean clenched his jaw against the choking tightness of his throat and just nodded.</span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite the late night he’d had, Sam got up when he felt Eileen stir. They kissed good morning and Sam rose to pull on workout clothes. Eileen was running through some stretches on her side of the bed, and Sam caught her attention. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“</span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Run with me</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">?” He asked. She visibly debated with herself and then agreed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“</span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Too much time indoors</em>,</span>
  <span class="s1">” she replied as she nodded.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So after each eating a piece of fruit, they headed out. Sam kept his pace a little slower than normal to accommodate her height and probable pace and took her on the loop through the town of Lebanon that he often did, sticking to Main Street and pointing out the post office, grocery store, bank, and City Hall as they passed them, then around and up and down a few of the residential streets before they headed back along the edges of fields and out to the bunker.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack was up and reading in the kitchen with a cup of coffee when they returned sweaty and red-faced and grinning at each other. He raised his hand and said hello as he normally did, but he added the salute-like gesture for the word in ASL as well. It warmed Sam’s heart that the whole family was working to remember Eileen’s needs and including her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>I’m going to make omelettes. Do you guys want toast, too</em>?” Jack asked, signing along.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Egg white omelette for me please, no cheese, lots of veggies,” Sam said, knowing how much Jack liked specific instructions for food. “No toast.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eileen signed her response while Sam wiped his face off on the front of his shirt.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“</span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Shower</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">?” Sam asked Eileen as they headed toward their rooms.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eileen looked up at him and he knew something interesting was about to be said. He was already starting to blush.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“</span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>Blowjob</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">?” She asked, waggling her eyebrows.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam laughed out loud. He stopped her and rolled his eyes in a hugely exaggerated way and signed slowly, “</span>
  <span class="s2">
    <em>If I have to</em>
  </span>
  <span class="s1">.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eileen broke out laughing and ended up bent over breathless from it. When she finally looked up at him, still grinning, he couldn’t help but kiss her. She was beautiful and she liked him and she was smart and tough and he loved her so much. Forehead, then nose, then lips he kissed her, and on the mouth kiss, she got a grip on his neck and kept him there, making the kiss dirty. She grabbed his opposite shoulder and tapped it once while hopping. He thought he knew what she meant and he nodded. She sprang up and wrapped her legs around him, and he caught her under the seat of her pants and on her thigh and quickly hustled them to the shower room at the end of their hallway.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They laughed and kissed and enjoyed showering together and hurriedly getting each other off before dressing and returning to the kitchen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack looked happy as ever to see them, and served up their breakfasts when they sat down. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Thank you</em>,” Eileen signed, and Sam echoed it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jack returned the gesture and sat down with them.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“</span>
  <span class="s2"><em>Did you already eat</em>?</span>
  <span class="s1">” Eileen asked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She and Jack chatted while Sam focused on eating. He found the gesturing of them signing he could see in his peripheral vision to be like the buzz of unclear verbal conversation, and the realization made him smile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The trio was sitting back, chatting silently over empty plates and fresh cups of coffee when Dean and Cas wandered in, sleep rumpled.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean apparently took in the greetings around him and signed hello as well, then bypassed the table in favor of filling and drinking his first cup of coffee standing facing the pot.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam had to smile at his brother finally being able to be the slow to wake man that seemed his natural tendency as opposed to the awake and ready to fight or drive he’d been forced to be for his whole life.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With his second cup, Dean brought one for Cas, who smiled at Dean like Dean made the sun rise. They were positively adorable.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think I’m ready to start powering the bunker’s defensive systems,” Sam said after exchanging a look with Eileen. They’d discussed it the previous night before she retired.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Isn’t that a ton of power? You’ve been doing little league stuff and now you’re jumping into the World Series?” Dean asked.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s the thing! Eileen and Jack and I figured out how to use those minor league trickles of power and temporarily anchor them, add more, and sort of braid them into powering bigger parts of the system! Cas was telling us that we might be setting up the parameters by which the newly available power of god and the darkness can be harnessed, so it’s really important to keep the volume we use as low as possible. We don’t want some witch in Bucharest to draw too much and flame out or end the world or whatever.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sam watched Dean, willing him to agree. Whether he did or not, they were going ahead with the plan, but Sam had to admit to himself that he craved Dean’s approval.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Dean was frowning but he looked at Cas and spent a few moments apparently having a telepathic conversation or something, then he turned back to Sam.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I trust you, Sammy.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And Sam felt himself grinning like his face would split.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright! Let’s do this. Jack, you’re in charge of gathering the ingredients we have here in the bunker. Eileen, you’ll go get those two you said you saw in that shop in Grand Island. Dean, I need you to—“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Eat. I am going to eat breakfast and shower and then you’ll tell me what you need.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2">Sam heard Eileen snort, and saw Dean wink at her. Sam shook his head and smiled some more.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay. Alright.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you are enjoying this series I would absolutely love a comment. Kinda feels like I’m screaming into the void posting this. Thanks!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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